Andromeda Klein-- Frank Portman

Yes, I've finally done it.

I finally finished reading Andromeda Klein. So, I've kinda had a bad attitude about this book... I wanted it to grab me from the beginning (it didn't). I wanted it to be compelling (it wasn't). I wanted to like the protagonist (I did. YAY. Small victories.)

So, I read the first two hundred pages on breaks, on the elliptical machine, in line at the grocery, you know all those places where you need to distract yourself from reality a little bit. That wasn't the best way to read this book. Last week I needed to drive to a library branch that is over 2 hours away, each direction, so I listened to the book on CD. And that's when I really started to like it.

Andromeda Klein is a teenage occultist. NOT a wicker girl (wiccan) or a bacon (pagan). She works at the the international house of bookcakes (library), sneaks her dead BFF's little brother bagel worm agony (girly mags) in exchange for some of her weegie (spooky and magical) possessions. After some consumption of christmas trees (gin martinis), she meets a boy who's an emogeekian (emo occultist) and at the urging of Huggy, (her holy gaurdien angel otherwise known as alterverse AK) Andromeda agrees to take Byron the emogeekian on as a neophyte as long as he helps her save the library books from the sylvester mouse list (aka extra hours weeding list).

Wha?????

So you can see why this book was a struggle at first. It's told from Andromeda's perspective, so you have to really get used to her special lexicon in order to understand what the heck she's talking about at all. Also, there are hundreds of pages of Andromeda's perspective on all things occult. As a person who has a decent amount of knowledge on such topics, even I was pretty floored by the sheer mass of it all. Still, there was something charmingly compelling about this book, and no matter how much I wanted to toss it out the window, I just kept coming back to it. And, when listening to the audio, the lexicon isn't as much of a struggle and the funny party came shining through. So yay! I've officially read all of the Mock Printz books for this year!

I would recommend this book to... um...well... that precocious teen who won't stray from the 133s who is obsessed with all things occult and doesn't mind dense reading. I'm sure there's one or two out there, right?